Dear Thriving Bride,
It is 39 days before my wedding, and I want to share some things for your to think about after you say “yes.” These are things that I’ve learned along the way, and I hope you find something useful to apply to your special day. So, he popped the question, you said yes and now you are ready to call up the wedding planner of your dreams, book the venue and start going. Slow down, take a deep breath, and check out a few of these things that I think you should think about before you get going.
1. Who do you want to share your big news with and how? I chose to call a few close friends and tell them. It was really great because we got to chat on the phone, and for me that was really special. We also posted it on Facebook for our friends who we could not call. It was really fun to see all the congratulations. It is about the two of us, but it is also about our community as well.
2. Do you want to spend some time away to celebrate this wonderful beginning of the rest of your lives? Maybe a small getaway out of town is the way to go.
3. What kind of bride do you want to be? This is a very important question. Now is a good time to sit down and discuss the traditions that are important to the both of you, and to also look at ways to enjoy yourself and limit your stress level.
4. How soon do you want to get married? I’ve always been the kind of person who did not want to wait too long after getting engaged before my wedding. I know that sometimes extenuating circumstances or your individual choice can dictate what you choose to do, but it’s a good time to talk about it. If you don’t want to be engaged for 2 years, now is the time to speak up.
5. What’s your story? People will ask once you are engaged and in all honesty you will want to know it and share it with others. You might be thinking: We are getting married, so of course we know our story! Well, you probably do but this is a time to think about how you want to tell it and to remember just how you got to this very moment.
6. Rallying the Community Support! This may be blood family or family by experience, but whoever these people are, you will need them and they will need you. Start having conversations with friends and family about the type of wedding you want to have and be open to receiving the love and support you need and deserve.
7. Why do you want to get married? He obviously gave you the ring, so there is the desire to get married. But what if you asked yourself “why?” I suggest this because I always knew I did not want to get married for the following reasons: fear of becoming old and lonely, wanting children with the wrong partner, wanting to escape something within myself that I needed to deal with. I wanted to get married because I always knew that I had so much love to give to someone who was capable of receiving it, and that if I did not have this opportunity I would not fully use my potential in the world. This may seem long and thought out, but I did think about it.
8. Now you know why, what about how? I am asking you to think about this because not every couple that gets engaged actually gets married. Now is the time to really look at what you both want. Do you want to elope? Do you want a small ceremony? Do you want a destination wedding?
9. Remember that the wedding is a small part of this life that you have nourished and will continue to nourish. Let it be significant, but not so life altering that your partner (or you) don’t show up at the altar!
10. Have fun! Remember that this is about discovering more about this person you have chosen to travel with in this life. Enjoy them and who they are and look forward to who they show you they are as well. Be open to the surprise!